chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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