my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
