I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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