I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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