She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
