it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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