Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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