Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
