shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
