So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
