She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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