Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
