the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
