you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
