think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
