shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
