dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
