If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
