she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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