tonight lets celebrate not being married
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
