alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
