Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
