i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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