Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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