I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
