but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize