If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
