tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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