We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
