Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
