today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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