You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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