Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
