I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
