I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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