all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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