I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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