ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
