I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
