And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
