Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
