Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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