i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
