Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
