from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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