6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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