Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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