We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
