wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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