I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
