we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
