she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
